Most people think that a couple who are physical should get a divorce and the problems will go away. Separation is the only way to stop the aggression from escalating and getting worse. Here are seven more myths that people believe about divorce.
1) Domestic violence is rarely a problem for divorcing couples involved in child custody disputes. The reality is that “high-conflict divorces” involving child custody report a history of domestic violence. Sometimes the physical aggression is not presented until the couple is separated and he no longer has control over her.
2) Domestic violence ends with separation for abused women. The reality is that abused women are in more danger when they first leave and face continued risks from their partner for several years. The abuser will use the family court as a tool to use against her and to gain custody.
3) Children are not abused directly, so they are not harmed by exposure to domestic violence. The reality is that children exposed to domestic violence may suffer from significant emotional and behavioral problems related to this traumatic experience. The abuse will spill over into the child’s life as well. For example: Mom may holler at the children to keep the house clean because it will make dad less upset.
4)Domestic violence is a behavior between adults, the acts have no relevant actions to a determination of child custody. The reality is that domestic violence is highly relevant to the determination of child custody, but courts overlook the actions and provide services to make the couples work together.
5) Abusive fathers will never gain custody of their children because of the violence. The statistics in 2005 showed that if a father of domestic violence filed for custody he obtained custody 75 % of the time.
6) Autistic children that are taken care of most of the time by the mother, will go to live with the mother. Once again this is not the case and makes providing services for the child difficult.
7) High conflict cases have Guardian Ad Litems (GAL) who are for the best interest of the child. These guardians rarely have an educational background in domestic violence and children behaviors and development.