Feb 13, 2020
By Nina Hendy
For executives, a marriage breakdown could have
ramifications for a company - but how much to share and when should you step
back?
In January 2019, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos took
to Twitter to announce the dissolution of his 25-year marriage to
MacKenzie Bezos. The tweet had been intended to steady the corporate ship,
but it sparked media scrutiny about the division of the couple’s vast fortune.
In 2017, Dominos Pizza chief Don Meij sold shares
worth $53.8 million to “fund option exercises, tax liabilities from his options
and a
divorce settlement”.
There are some benefits to informing your employer and
colleagues about a separation.
Not every divorce will have the impact of the Bezos or
Meij split, and how to handle news of divorce is an individual decision. But
for executives, the toll of a marriage breakdown could have ramifications for a
company.
Divorce can be an emotional roller coaster, with the
potential to affect decision making. Some might need to take time off work.
With almost 50,000 couples getting divorced annually,
executives will be among those navigating the terrain.
It is nearly impossible to leave personal issues at
the door and hide your feelings from colleagues, says Rachael Scharrer, the
founder of Divorce
Answered. Seeking counselling – particularly for those in high-pressure
roles – is wise, she adds.
Knowing who to tell and how much to share is a
personal decision. But there are some benefits to informing your employer and
colleagues about a separation, she says. “It’s likely you’ll experience less
productivity, less focus, more emotion or sensitivity and need more time away
from the workplace.”
Divorce is expensive, and ensuring you maintain as
much consistency and the highest possible performance level is crucial for your
career, Scharrer adds.
“If you’re working on a project team, sharing your
situation with the lead manager may be a good idea because you may need some
extra support, especially if it’s a particularly difficult or messy break-up,”
she says.
Telling your boss if there has been abuse in the
relationship means someone else is looking out for your wellbeing, she adds.
However, Scharrer advises limiting how much you talk
about the separation at work. “After all, you’re at work being paid to perform
a role or tasks, and your team and manager want to see you trying your best
with an understanding that it may be difficult for you.
“It’s important that you don’t appear to be taking
advantage of their understanding, tolerance and kindness,” she says.
Martin Moore told colleagues about his divorce, but
says he was careful not to go into too much detail.
Sharing news of his divorce with colleagues didn’t
affect Martin Moore’s career trajectory, but it was still a testing time. The
father of two was 41 and holding down a senior corporate role for an ASX-listed
mining company, commuting three hours a day, managing a semi-hostile company
takeover and studying for an MBA.
“I managed to hold it together pretty well, and didn’t
really take time off work or change my role at the time,” says Moore, now in
his 50s. “I don’t believe it impacted my performance at work, but it certainly
tested my resilience.
“To go through a divorce requires composure,
perspective and the ability to compartmentalise the different facets of your
life. I became a master at this because I had to be able to switch seamlessly
from one area to another and still perform.”
Moore gave enough detail so people understood the
effects of the divorce. “I explained we’d been together for 12 years and had
two daughters who would be affected. Even your friends don’t want to hear the
details of your messy divorce, so it’s a pretty safe bet that your workmates
don’t either.”
He left out details about the legal tussle, arguments,
recriminations, and emotional toll, because it wasn’t appropriate workplace
conversation.
In the following years, Moore rose through the ranks
to become CEO of Brisbane’s CS Energy, leading more than 400 staff. He left in
2018 to launch a leadership development company, Your CEO Mentor.
“I find that openness and transparency is best in all
things, as long as you don’t cross the line of professionalism,” he says.
Senior communications executive Nicole* preferred to
keep quiet about her divorce proceedings, at least in the early days. But
dealing with a hostile ex-husband became too difficult to keep secret.
The 38-year-old mother of three, who separated in
early 2018, has a domestic violence order in place. “Unfortunately, over time
my situation became more difficult, and I was forced to attend court to deal
with domestic violence issues,” the Queenslander says.
“I was dealing with multiple divorce-related calls
during the workday. At this point, I decided to confide in my general manager
and the senior management team, who were supportive.” She explained she needed
flexibility in her role during the process, which was granted.
While Nicole admits that stress occasionally made it
difficult to concentrate, the quality of work didn’t diminish. She says she has
always been a hard worker, and was determined to keep it together for her
children.
Human resources expert Leanne Hagerty says marital
status makes no difference to a person’s employment prospects, other than
possibly affecting confidence when applying for jobs and interviewing.
There can even be a positive aspect because divorce
can act as a catalyst for self-reflection, the talent acquisition and employer
branding specialist at Be Business says.
“Many candidates begin to redefine who they are and
what they’re about, and then seek to express this in their professional lives.”
* Nicole declined to give her surname.